Crafting Your Essay for the Roberta Egel Schwartz Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To create a well-rounded essay, gather material across these four key areas:

• Background: Reflect on your personal history, including family influences, education, and significant life events that have shaped who you are today. Consider how these experiences have led you to pursue your education at Loyola.
• Achievements: List your notable accomplishments, both academic and extracurricular. Quantify your achievements where possible, such as GPA, leadership roles, or community service hours, to provide concrete evidence of your capabilities.
• The Gap: Identify any gaps in your education or experiences that this scholarship would help you fill. Discuss how further study at Loyola will bridge these gaps and contribute to your personal and professional development.
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that reveal your character, values, and aspirations. Specific stories can help the committee connect with you on a human level.

Outline Your Essay

Organize your thoughts into a clear outline. A typical structure might include:

1. Introduction: Start with a compelling in-scene moment or anecdote that captures your journey.
2. Body Paragraphs: Dedicate one or two paragraphs to each of the four buckets. Use the STAR method to structure your achievements and experiences, detailing the situation, task, action, and result.
3. Conclusion: Reflect on your journey and articulate your future goals. Emphasize how the scholarship will enable you to make a meaningful impact.

Drafting Voice and Style

As you draft, maintain an active voice and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus. Avoid vague statements and instead provide specific examples that illustrate your points. Each section should answer the “So what?” question, reflecting on the significance of your experiences and aspirations.

Revision and “So What?”

After drafting, take a break before revising. Read your essay critically, focusing on clarity and coherence. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next and that your reflections are insightful. Ask yourself if your essay effectively communicates your goals and the impact of the scholarship on your future.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Be mindful of these common mistakes:

• Avoid cliché openers and filler phrases. Start with a strong, engaging moment.
• Steer clear of vague language and empty superlatives. Provide concrete evidence of your achievements and aspirations.
• Do not use passive voice when an active subject exists. Keep your writing direct and engaging.
• Ensure all information is truthful and verifiable; do not invent experiences or accolades.