How to Craft Your Essay for the Robert & Rosemary Murphy Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

Organize your thoughts using the four material buckets: background, achievements, the gap, and personality.

• Background: Reflect on experiences that have shaped your educational journey. Consider family influences, community involvement, or personal challenges that have motivated you to pursue your studies at MassBay.
• Achievements: Identify key accomplishments in your academic and extracurricular life. Use specific metrics or outcomes to illustrate your contributions—such as leadership roles, projects completed, or awards received.
• The Gap: Acknowledge any gaps in your experience or education that the scholarship will help you address. Be honest about what you need and how this scholarship is essential for your academic and career aspirations.
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that reveal your character, values, and interests. This will help the committee connect with you beyond your achievements.

Outlining Your Essay

Structure your essay to create a logical flow. Start with a strong opening that draws the reader in, perhaps by recounting a specific moment that highlights your journey. Follow with sections that address each of the four buckets, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Conclude with a reflection on how the scholarship will enable you to achieve your goals.

Drafting Voice and Style

Utilize an active voice throughout your essay. This approach makes your writing more engaging and direct. Avoid clichés and vague statements; instead, provide concrete examples and reflections. Each section should answer the question, “So what?”—demonstrating the significance of your experiences and aspirations.

Revision and “So What?”

After drafting, take a break before revising to gain fresh perspective. Look for areas where you can clarify your points or add more specific details. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall narrative and reinforces your commitment to making a positive impact through your education. Ask yourself if your essay answers the “So what?” question effectively, showing why your story matters.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Avoid starting with generic statements or overly broad introductions. Focus on specific moments or insights instead. Refrain from using passive voice or bureaucratic language, which can dilute your message. Lastly, ensure that all facts and figures are accurate and relevant, steering clear of any embellishments or invented details.