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How to Craft Your Essay for the Joy Tong Women in Business Scholarship
By Daur, ScholarshipTop founder and scholarship data reviewer
Reviewed by ScholarshipTop editorial review · Published Apr 25, 2026
ScholarshipTop editorial guide. Writing guidance does not guarantee eligibility, selection, or award payment.
Understanding the Prompt
The Joy Tong Women in Business Scholarship seeks to support students from the University of Massachusetts Lowell who are pursuing study abroad opportunities. Your essay should reflect your motivations, aspirations, and how this scholarship will help you achieve your goals. Focus on articulating your vision and the impact of your experiences in business.
Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets
To create a rich and engaging essay, explore the following four material buckets:
- Background: Consider the experiences that shaped your interest in business and study abroad. Reflect on personal, academic, and professional influences.
- Achievements: Identify key accomplishments that demonstrate your leadership and commitment to business. Use metrics or specific outcomes to illustrate your impact.
- The Gap: Discuss any gaps in your education or experience that this scholarship will help you address. Be specific about how further study abroad will enhance your skills and knowledge.
- Personality: Share personal anecdotes that reveal your values, passions, and character. This helps the committee connect with you on a human level.
Structuring Your Essay
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Organize your essay logically, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Start with an engaging opening that draws the reader in—consider a specific moment or experience that encapsulates your journey. Use the STAR method to detail your achievements, providing context, your role, the actions you took, and the results achieved.
Drafting Voice and Style
Write in an active voice, showcasing your role in your achievements and experiences. Avoid clichés and generic statements; instead, focus on specific details that highlight your unique perspective. Each paragraph should flow logically to the next, maintaining a cohesive narrative throughout your essay.
Revision and Reflection: The “So What?” Factor
After drafting, revise with a critical eye. Ask yourself, “So what?” for each major point. Ensure that every section reflects your growth, insights, and future aspirations. Check for clarity, coherence, and emotional impact, making sure your personality shines through.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Be mindful of these common pitfalls:
- Avoid vague language and empty superlatives. Be specific about your experiences and achievements.
- Steer clear of passive voice; use active constructions to convey your agency.
- Do not fabricate details or experiences. Authenticity is key in making a genuine connection with the committee.
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