How to Craft Your Essay for the Joseph Burgoyne Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To create a compelling narrative, gather material across four key areas:

• Background: Consider your personal history, including family, culture, and experiences that have shaped your perspective. What moments stand out as pivotal in your decision to pursue higher education?
• Achievements: Identify significant accomplishments that demonstrate your skills and commitment. Use metrics where possible—such as leadership roles, community service hours, or academic honors—to provide concrete evidence of your impact.
• The Gap: Reflect on what you feel is missing in your current education or experiences. How will the scholarship help bridge this gap? Be specific about your goals and aspirations.
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that reveal your values and character. What unique qualities do you bring to the UMass community?

Outline Your Essay

Organize your thoughts into a clear outline. A typical structure may include:

1. Introduction: Start with an engaging moment or scene that captures your journey.
2. Body Paragraphs: Dedicate each paragraph to one of the four buckets, ensuring you provide specific examples and reflections.
3. Conclusion: Reinforce your commitment to your goals and how the scholarship will help you achieve them.

Drafting Voice and Style

As you draft, maintain an active voice and focus on clarity. Avoid clichés and vague statements. Instead of saying you are passionate about a subject, illustrate that passion through a story or example. Each paragraph should center around a single idea, leading the reader through your narrative logically.

Revision and “So What?”

After drafting, review your essay with a critical eye. Ask yourself, “So what?” for each major point. Ensure that every section reflects not only your experiences but also the insights gained and their relevance to your future. Consider seeking feedback from peers or mentors to refine your message.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Be mindful of the following mistakes:

• Avoid generic statements that do not provide specific insights into your experiences.
• Do not use passive voice where an active subject exists.
• Steer clear of overly bureaucratic language; keep your writing personal and relatable.
• Ensure all facts are accurate and verifiable—do not invent experiences or achievements.