John J Foley M D Scholarship Essay Guide

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To structure your essay, consider the four material buckets: background, achievements, gap, and personality.

• Background: What experiences have shaped your academic and personal journey? Consider family influences, educational opportunities, or community involvement.
• Achievements: Identify significant accomplishments, focusing on metrics or outcomes. Reflect on leadership roles, projects, or volunteer work that demonstrate your impact.
• The Gap: What do you lack that further study will provide? Be honest about your aspirations and how this scholarship will help bridge the gap in your education.
• Personality: Include humanizing details that reveal your values and character. Think about anecdotes that illustrate your resilience, empathy, or commitment to service.

Creating an Outline

Develop a clear outline based on your brainstormed ideas. Each section should have a distinct focus, guiding the reader through your narrative. Start with a compelling opening that draws the reader in, followed by sections dedicated to your background, achievements, the gap, and personality. Conclude with a strong statement about your future goals and the role of the scholarship in achieving them.

Drafting Voice and Style

When drafting your essay, use an active voice to convey your experiences. Begin with a specific moment or scene rather than a general introduction. For example, describe a pivotal event that influenced your educational journey. Throughout the essay, ensure that your reflections answer the question, “So what?” This will help the committee understand the significance of your experiences.

Revision and “So What?”

After completing your draft, take a step back and review your work. Ensure each paragraph serves a purpose and contributes to your overall narrative. Look for opportunities to enhance clarity and impact. Ask yourself if each section effectively addresses the scholarship’s goals and if it answers the “So what?” question regarding your experiences and aspirations.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Avoid clichés and vague statements that do not provide concrete evidence of your passion or commitment. Do not rely on generic phrases like “I have always wanted to help others.” Instead, illustrate your commitment with specific examples. Additionally, steer clear of passive voice and bureaucratic language; keep your writing clear and direct.