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How to Write Your Essay for the John Haynes Holmes Scholarship
By Daur, ScholarshipTop founder and scholarship data reviewer
Reviewed by ScholarshipTop editorial review · Published Apr 24, 2026
ScholarshipTop editorial guide. Writing guidance does not guarantee eligibility, selection, or award payment.

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Understanding the Prompt
The John Haynes Holmes Memorial Fellowship Scholarship aims to support students attending The Community Church of New York. Your essay should reflect your personal journey, showcasing how your experiences align with the values of the church and your aspirations for the future. Focus on articulating your motivations for pursuing further education and how this scholarship will facilitate your goals.
Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets
To create a compelling narrative, consider the following four material buckets:
- Background: Reflect on your upbringing, influences, and experiences that shaped your values. What moments stand out? Consider how these experiences connect to the mission of The Community Church.
- Achievements: List your significant accomplishments, both academically and personally. Use metrics and specific examples to illustrate your contributions, such as leadership roles, community service, or projects that had a measurable impact.
- The Gap: Identify what you currently lack in your education or experience that this scholarship will help you address. Why is further study essential for your growth? Be clear about how this scholarship will bridge that gap.
- Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that reveal your character. What drives you? What values do you hold dear? Specificity will help the committee connect with you as an individual.
Creating an Outline
Organize your thoughts into a coherent structure. A suggested outline could include:
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- Introduction: Start with a vivid scene or moment that encapsulates your journey.
- Background: Discuss your formative experiences and values.
- Achievements: Highlight key accomplishments with specific examples.
- The Gap: Explain what you need to advance your education and how this scholarship will help.
- Personality: Share personal stories that illustrate your character and commitment to your goals.
- Conclusion: Reflect on your aspirations and the impact you hope to make in the future.
Drafting Voice and Style
Write in an active voice, focusing on your role in your achievements and experiences. Avoid clichés and vague statements. Instead of saying, "I am passionate about helping others," provide a specific example of how you've done so. Keep your tone confident yet humble, and ensure that every paragraph serves a clear purpose in advancing your narrative.
Revision and the 'So What?' Factor
After drafting your essay, review it critically. Ask yourself: What changed in me through these experiences? Why does this matter? Each section should answer the 'So what?' question, demonstrating your growth and future impact. Seek feedback from trusted mentors or peers to refine your message further.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Be mindful of these common mistakes:
- Avoid starting with generic statements or clichés that do not engage the reader.
- Steer clear of vague expressions of passion without backing them up with evidence.
- Do not use passive voice; ensure your actions and achievements are front and center.
- Refrain from including fabricated facts or exaggerations about your experiences.
FAQ
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