How to Write the David Hershberg Scholarship Essay

Start by writing a one-sentence answer to each of these questions: Why this summer study abroad experience? Why now? Why are you a strong investment? What will change because you go? Those four answers will keep your draft from drifting into generic enthusiasm.

Your job is not to sound impressive in the abstract. Your job is to make the reader trust your thinking. That means grounding claims in concrete experience, naming the academic or professional thread that leads to study abroad, and explaining what the opportunity will allow you to learn, test, or build that you cannot do as fully at home.

Brainstorm in Four Buckets Before You Draft

Strong scholarship essays rarely come from writing straight through on the first try. Build your material first. A useful way to do that is to sort your experiences into four buckets, then choose only the details that serve this scholarship.

1) Background: what shaped your interest

This is not a request for your whole life story. Look for two or three shaping influences that connect directly to study abroad: a course, family responsibility, language exposure, community experience, research question, internship, or a moment when you realized your perspective was incomplete. The key question is: What context helps the committee understand why this opportunity matters to you?

• Which experiences first pushed you toward this field, region, language, or issue?
• What have you seen up close that made international study feel necessary rather than decorative?
• What part of your background gives you a distinctive lens on the experience?

2) Achievements: what you have already done

Scholarship readers look for signs that you follow through. List experiences where you took responsibility, solved a problem, improved something, or produced a measurable result. Use specifics: hours committed, people served, funds raised, research completed, projects launched, outcomes achieved. If your record is less formal, accountable detail still matters: what you organized, changed, or learned through work, caregiving, or community commitments.

• What have you built, led, improved, or completed?
• Where can you show scope, difficulty, or consistency?
• What evidence shows that you will use a study abroad opportunity seriously?

3) The gap: what you still need to learn

This is one of the most important parts of the essay. Many applicants describe what they have done, then stop. A stronger essay shows intellectual honesty: you have made progress, but there is a clear next step you cannot reach alone. Maybe you need immersion in a language, field exposure in a specific setting, access to a course not offered on your campus, or a comparative perspective that will sharpen your future work.

Be precise here. Do not write, “I want to broaden my horizons.” Instead, explain what is currently missing in your preparation and why this program is the right way to address that gap.

4) Personality: what makes the essay human

Committees remember people, not bullet points. Add one or two details that reveal how you think, what you notice, or how you respond under pressure. This could be a habit, a small scene, a line of dialogue, a moment of uncertainty, or a value you have tested in practice. The point is not charm for its own sake. The point is credibility. A human voice makes your ambition easier to trust.

After brainstorming, circle the items that connect most clearly to summer study abroad, financial need, and future use of the experience. Those become your core material. Everything else is optional.

Build an Essay That Moves, Not Just Lists

Once you have material, shape it into a sequence with momentum. The strongest essays often begin with a concrete moment, move into evidence of preparation, identify the next learning need, and end with a forward-looking claim about what the opportunity will make possible.

1. Open with a scene or specific moment. Choose a moment that reveals the stakes of your interest: a lab result that raised a bigger question, a conversation across language barriers, a classroom insight that exposed what you still need to learn, or a work experience that made international context matter. Keep it brief. Two to four sentences is often enough.
2. Name the thread. After the opening, explain what that moment clarified. This is where you connect the scene to your academic path, goals, or developing sense of purpose.
3. Show proof of readiness. Use one or two examples of action and result. Focus on what you did, why it was difficult, and what changed because of your effort.
4. Define the gap. Explain what your current experience cannot yet provide and why summer study abroad is the right next step.
5. End with consequence. Show how the experience will shape your next decisions, work, or contribution. The ending should feel earned, not inflated.

This structure works because it gives the committee a reason to care, evidence to believe you, and a clear sense of what their support would enable. It also prevents a common weakness: essays that read like resumes in paragraph form.

How to handle achievement stories well

When you describe an accomplishment or challenge, make sure the reader can track the sequence clearly: what the situation was, what responsibility fell to you, what you actually did, and what happened as a result. If the result was mixed, say so. Honest reflection is often more persuasive than polished perfection.

For example, instead of writing, “I was involved in a community project that taught me leadership,” write the version with accountable detail: what problem existed, what role you took, what decisions you made, what obstacles appeared, and what changed by the end. Then add the reflective turn: what that experience taught you that now makes study abroad timely and necessary.

Draft Paragraphs That Answer “So What?”

Every paragraph should do one job. If a paragraph tries to cover your background, your achievements, your financial need, and your future plans all at once, the reader will retain very little. Keep one central idea per paragraph, and make the transition to the next paragraph explicit.

Use this paragraph test

• Main point: Can you summarize the paragraph in one sentence?
• Evidence: Does it include a concrete example, detail, or outcome?
• Reflection: Does it explain why that example matters?
• Connection: Does it lead logically to the next paragraph?

The reflection step is where many essays become memorable. Do not assume the reader will infer the meaning of your experience. Spell it out with restraint. If you describe tutoring, research, caregiving, or work, explain what changed in your thinking. If you describe a challenge, explain what it taught you about how you learn, adapt, or contribute. If you describe financial pressure, explain how it shaped your choices and why support would expand what is realistically possible.

Good transitions often sound like this: That experience showed me... What I still lacked, however, was... Because of that gap... This is why summer study abroad is not an add-on but a necessary next step... These moves help the essay feel argued rather than assembled.

Keep the voice active and specific

Prefer sentences with clear actors and verbs. “I designed a survey for 40 participants” is stronger than “A survey was designed.” “Working 20 hours a week limited my options for unpaid research” is stronger than “Constraints affected my opportunities.” Specific language signals maturity because it shows that you understand your own experience in practical terms.

Also cut empty declarations. If you write that you care deeply about cross-cultural learning, global issues, public service, or education, follow the claim immediately with proof. What have you done that makes the statement believable?

Revise for Fit, Precision, and Credibility

Revision is where a decent draft becomes competitive. Read the essay once as a committee member with limited time. By the end of the first paragraph, would you know why this applicant is pursuing summer study abroad? By the middle, would you trust that they will use the opportunity well? By the end, would you understand what the scholarship would change?

Revision checklist

• Opening: Does the essay begin with a real moment or concrete detail rather than a broad thesis?
• Focus: Is the essay clearly about why this study abroad opportunity matters, not just a general autobiography?
• Evidence: Have you included specific actions, responsibilities, timeframes, or outcomes where honest and relevant?
• Need: Have you explained what support would make possible without sounding entitled?
• Gap: Is it clear what you still need to learn and why this program fits that need?
• Reflection: Does each major section answer “So what?”
• Voice: Have you cut clichés, inflated claims, and vague passion language?
• Ending: Does the conclusion point forward with realism and purpose?

Then do a line edit. Remove repeated ideas. Replace abstract nouns with concrete verbs. Cut any sentence that could appear in almost anyone else’s essay. If a line sounds polished but generic, it is not helping you.

Finally, check whether the essay sounds like a person rather than a brochure. The best scholarship essays are thoughtful, not theatrical. They show ambition, but they also show proportion: an understanding of what one summer can do, and what it cannot do, within a longer path of study and contribution.

Mistakes to Avoid in a Study Abroad Scholarship Essay

• Starting with a cliché. Avoid openings such as “I have always wanted to travel” or “From a young age.” Begin with a moment the reader can see.
• Treating travel as the goal. The committee is more interested in learning, growth, and use than in tourism or personal excitement alone.
• Listing achievements without interpretation. A resume can list activities. Your essay must explain meaning, judgment, and direction.
• Using vague values without proof. Words like passionate, dedicated, and committed need evidence or they weaken the draft.
• Ignoring the financial dimension. If cost is part of why the scholarship matters, explain that plainly and concretely. Do not overdramatize, but do not hide the reality either.
• Overclaiming impact. One summer abroad may sharpen your research, language ability, or professional direction. It probably will not solve a global problem by itself. Measured ambition is more credible.
• Writing for admiration instead of trust. The goal is not to impress with grand language. The goal is to persuade through clarity, evidence, and reflection.

A Simple Planning Template You Can Use

Before drafting, fill in these prompts in plain sentences. They will give you the raw material for a focused essay.

1. Moment: What specific experience best captures why study abroad matters to you now?
2. Background: What two influences best explain how you arrived at this interest?
4. Proof: What one or two experiences show that you take initiative and follow through?
5. Gap: What can you not yet learn or do fully without this experience?
6. Fit: Why is summer study abroad the right next step rather than a generic opportunity?
7. Need: How would scholarship support affect what is realistically possible for you?
8. Forward path: What will you do differently after the experience?
9. Human detail: What small detail, habit, or observation makes the essay sound unmistakably like you?

If you can answer those questions with specificity, you are ready to draft. If you cannot, keep brainstorming before you write full paragraphs. Planning is not a delay; it is what allows the final essay to feel clear, personal, and convincing.

Write the essay only you can write: grounded in your own record, honest about what you still need, and clear about why this opportunity matters now.