How to Craft Your Essay for the Cliff Murray College Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To create a compelling essay, gather material across four key areas:

• Background: Consider your experiences with horses, your involvement with the Vermont Horse Council, and any formative moments that shaped your passion for equine studies.
• Achievements: Identify specific accomplishments related to your education or community involvement. Quantify these achievements where possible—think of leadership roles, volunteer hours, or projects you led.
• The Gap: Reflect on what you currently lack in terms of knowledge or skills and how further education will bridge that gap. Be specific about the programs or courses you wish to pursue.
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that reveal your character, values, and motivations. This will help the committee see you as a well-rounded individual.

Outline Your Essay

Structure your essay to ensure clarity and flow. A suggested outline might include:

1. Introduction: Open with a vivid scene or moment that captures your relationship with horses.
2. Background: Discuss your journey in the equine field and your connection to the Vermont Horse Council.
3. Achievements: Highlight key accomplishments, using metrics to demonstrate impact.
4. The Gap: Explain your educational needs and how this scholarship fits into your plans.
5. Personality: Share a personal story or insight that reflects your commitment to the equine community.
6. Conclusion: Reinforce how the scholarship will enable you to make a meaningful impact in the field.

Drafting Voice and Style

When drafting your essay, use an active voice to convey your experiences and aspirations. Avoid generic statements; instead, focus on specific examples that illustrate your journey. Engage the reader by reflecting on what you learned from each experience and why it matters to your future.

Revision and “So What?”

After completing your draft, take time to revise. Ask yourself, “So what?” for every major point you make. Ensure each paragraph contributes to the overall narrative and reinforces your motivation for applying. Seek feedback from peers or mentors to gain perspective and refine your message.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Be mindful of common mistakes that can detract from your essay:

• Avoid cliché openings and vague statements about passion. Start with a specific moment that illustrates your connection to the field.
• Steer clear of passive voice; ensure your writing is direct and engaging.
• Do not include invented facts or experiences. Authenticity is key in making a genuine connection with the committee.